>Growing Up

>Am I writing an epitaph to my joblessness? I’d rather not; suddenly, though, the future seems to be taking some sort of shape, admittedly hazy, but it’s better than being wholly ignorant of what is to come. A few of the blogs I have read abound in horror stories of life in cubicles, but I don’t want them to deter me from looking forward to the future. People often tell you what you’d not like to hear when you ask them about something, but it’s not a rule. Encouragement comes in from some quarters, and also hope. Soon, it will be time to put all the different theories to the test.

I went to school yesterday. To my school, where I finished Class Ten six years ago, before heading out into the jungle of competitive examinations. I thought much would have changed. But when I went in there, it felt like I’d been there every day these six years. It was all so endearingly familiar; the building, for some reason, looked a little smaller from the outside than it used to, but every inch of the inside was just as is engraved in my mind. My friend and I met our teachers; more grey hair than there used to be, evidently as they have had to cope with six more batches of unruly children/adolescents since we left. We saw some of their children as well, now in the higher classes. They received us with such a lot of warmth that I felt like I’d always been a part of school. I miss it a great deal; during recess my friend and I clasped hands and walked through the corridors teeming with children in uniforms, feeling like schoolgirls ourselves.

It’s hard to explain what I exactly felt like. School gave me the best years of my life, the most carefree and fantastic days. We had a great deal of fun and laughter, some tears, games in the hot sun…we hatched plots so we could worm a free period out of some teacher, we had our nicknames for them, ‘bullied’ our seniors (and most of them were nice enough to play along with us; those who didn’t were never popular). I have never been at ease as much as I was in school, among some great, understanding people. We were friends with our English and History teachers, and still are, and I feel good when I think I can always talk to them about anything I like. Whenever I want to go back to the past, I have something to fall back on.

My visit to school also made me realise in what magnitude my life is going to change now. Here I am at the moment, doing my Guardian crossword in the DC with a little help from the Internet (it’s not cheating – what else can I do when the clues are about the Renaissance and baby clothes?!). Soon, I’ll be going out into an entirely new world and doing things I’ve never imagined. What I do in the next few months will be nothing new, from the perspective of those who are now buried deep in projects and programming, and perhaps trying as hard as they can to get out of it. I have not the vaguest idea of what life is going to be like. These languid days of freedom will soon come to an end and there will be much change in my life. So why should I live in denial? If it’s going to be difficult, so be it. Atleast there will be, and have been, plenty of other people in the same boat. Besides, it is only when life becomes challenging that the little pleasures can be enjoyed best. Easier said than done, but that’s the way it should be.

PS: I just might be happy to get rid of parts of this post once I’m actually in the wilderness. So please be kind enough not to rub it in if that happens.


10 thoughts on “>Growing Up

  1. >About the PS, sorry but i will most DEFINITELY be there to rub it in a couple of months from now when u write about how much the cubicle is getting on ur nerves!! ;)kidding!! lovely bit of writing. i am tired of saying that i completely love the effortless ease with which u write. and yeah school days were the best, college days even better. school and college were the crests in the graph of my life and now is the trough period which doesnt look like its going to end any time soon!! 😦

  2. >Revathi: Thanks a lot! Sure, I’ll look forward to what you have to say about my tales of woe :). I liked school much better than college. By the way, I’d been reading a post of yours on labs and records, copy-pasting programs, printouts, burying engineers alive and making them write records…so true! I’m going to show it to my friends. Good luck with your trough period, hopefully you’ll get over it soon.

  3. >ah well … all I can say is there was no one to warn me..to warn us back then…but you my friend have that luxury…but there is a thrill in finding out for yourself …as you will :)a random line from somewhere pops in..”I’ll always try anything once”…well and now you shall…just make sure by the end of the 1st year you have an exit strategy in place ;)lovely piece btw…sad that I couldnt relate to it wrt school and memories and all that…

  4. >You totally forgot the thrill of the first salary! Trust me, life in software is what you make of it :-). I look back at my 2 years as a programmer with a smile. There were times I worked like crazy and there were times when I went for a couple of months with nothing to do :P. I totally enjoyed both. The first because it gave me “Oh I work so hard!” high and the second gave me all the time I needed for the CAT. Now I’ll be going back to software as a Business Analyst. I’m curious to know what it will be like.

  5. >Nice bit of writing. Could completely relate to it, the school memories and all.. and then college memories. You know what.. at every point in life, I’ve looked back into the past and thought.. “those were the good days..” and then life surprises me with a brand new set of experiences, that I’d never had before. Like Dinesh has written…your first salary for instance 🙂 There is no exit strategy to living!

  6. >S.M.A.R.T.: Thanks :). Despite all that I’m hearing, as you say, there are surprises in store, and I’m quite looking forward to them.

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